Open Your Eyes
by RBabe500
Summary: Ryou is secretly in love with Bakura, but he dares not say a word. He knows his abusive yami could never love him back. But what are these thoughts running through Bakura's head about his light? Warning: This is NOT a fluffy fic! Final chapter up!
1. Moonlight Dreams

Well, this is a slightly darker fic than I usually write, but I like it a lot. I _was_ gonna make this a one-shot, but now that I think about it, I'd prefer to make this a multiple-chapters sorta thing. If you came reading this to see a nice Ryou/Bakura romance, you should know now that it's not gonna happen. No fluff in this one, although I do think I'll make them get together at some point. Not sure yet. I'm not even sure how long this will be eventually. I know how it'll end though. Woot, go me..Anyways, please R&R, because it'll make me happy. *makes puppy dogg eyes* ^_^ Hehehe..  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * = change from Ryou's POV to Bakura's POV, or other way around. Or just a scene change. It's whatever I feel like it being, because I am the all-mighty author. Mwahahahaha..  
  
Disclaimer: I dun own anything associated with Yu-Gi-Oh. If I did, the show would be a LOT weirder..  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I stare out my bedroom window, the pale light from the moon falling onto my shoulders and head. The ink-black sky is lit with the twinkling of tiny stars, sparkling like diamonds in an endless ocean. I open my window and sit on the window ledge, enjoying the crisp fall breeze as it flows through my pale hair. I close my eyes and for the moment, forget all my troubles and simply enjoy the feel of the air on my face. But my peace is short- lived as I hear his footsteps in the hallway, heading toward my door. I know what it means.  
  
I raise my head up to the sky one final time, enjoying the peaceful nature of the outside world as I await the hell that will soon break free in mine. I know I should leave. I know I should run. Yet I stay. I stay for love of my tormentor.  
  
My door is thrown open, and the figure of him is shown in all his glory. He approaches me, and I climb off my windowsill and close my window. Then I turn and face him. I am ready for my punishment. Punishment for being me. His palm meets my cheek as the blows begin, and I close my eyes and await the end.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
My hikari is weak. My hikari is pathetically weak. As his other half, is it not my duty to make him stronger? Is it not my duty to help him, by any means possible? Some would say no. Some would say my methods are not right. But it is how I was taught, and it is all I know.  
  
He is too gentle for his own good, my hikari. One look into his gentle brown eyes and anyone can see that he can be easily manipulated. He can be used. I do not want that for him. He does not deserve that.  
  
I raise myself up from my bed, where I often sleep, instead of my soul room. My soul room is too dark for my liking. Too much like the shadow realm, a place I never wish to re-visit. So I sleep in a bed in my light's house. The room is conveniently located next to my hikari's. Tonight, I can hear him in his room opening his window, probably looking out it as he does so often these days. Does he dream of another life? Does he dream of a life without me? There are some things I do not wish to have answers for, so my questions remain in my heart, known to no one save myself.  
  
I open my door and take the few steps needed to be outside my light's door. Inside, I sense his fear as he hears my footsteps stop outside his door. He has reason to be scared. He knows what is coming.  
  
I throw open his door and stare at the sight in front of me. My hikari sits on his windowsill as I thought, the moonlight pouring onto him, making him look like one of the angels I have seen in paintings. Angels I do not believe exist, but he claims to. Or rather, he used to claim to before I told him to stop his rambling. He has not mentioned it since.  
  
I see his eyes open wide as he sees my figure standing in his doorway. But by habit, they quickly return to their normal size as he steps onto his floor. He turns his back to me to close his window, and I take moment to step behind him, quietly as a cat. He turns, and he is immediately met with my palm as I slap his pale cheek. He closes his eyes, though I know not from pain. A slap is gentle to him now. I remember a time when he would cry out at a slap, beg for mercy when I kicked him. Perhaps he has grown stronger, for he no longer cries out nor begs, simply endures the pain. Perhaps my light is stronger than I care to think.  
  
I pause for a moment at this thought, contemplating what it means. Clearly surprised at the slap not being followed by another, my light opens his eyes slowly, unsurely, as if I am playing some cruel trick on him. But I am not. I am thinking, reflecting, deciding. Slowly, I back out of my hikari's room, closing the door after me. He has earned a break.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *  
  
I stare at where my yami stood moments before, unsure yet what has happened. I was prepared for a beating, and yet none came. I was prepared for obscenities to fly from his mouth, yet he uttered not a word to me. I was waiting to die, yet here I stand, whole, with only a small red, hand- shaped mark on my face to prove to me that he had ever stood in my room. I have felt fear before when he has beaten me, but never true fear. Now I do. Never before has he refrained from hitting me, kicking me, killing me from the inside out. Yet tonight, he has left me whole, almost untouched. I am truly afraid.  
  
~end chapter 1~ 


	2. Midnight Desires

He has fallen asleep. Through the thin walls between our rooms, I can hear his heavy breathing, the breathing of one lost in dreams. Are his dreams sweet? Are they of me?  
  
Quietly, so as not to wake him, I slip out of my room and into his. He is lying on his bed, his hair a mess all over his pillow. Yet even now, he is so innocent looking, so pure. My eyes sweep over his face, so beautiful. I do not know where those thoughts come from, but I let them play around in my head. Yes, I cannot deny that my hikari is attractive, but it is his purity that draws me most to him. He is innocent, too innocent to even imagine the thoughts that float around in my brain as I stare at him slumbering. But thoughts are dangerous things, so I push them from my mind for the moment and turn from him, leaving his room as silently as I came.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I wake to the sense that someone is looking at me, eyes sweeping over me. I can sense him even though I cannot see him. I dare not open my eyes, for fear that he will know I am awake. I do not want to risk the beating that I avoided what must be only hours ago. Yet deep inside me, I crave to open my eyes, open my mouth and ask why he now stands over me, examining me. Is he contemplating how he will torment me later, or are his thoughts of something else? I do not know now, and I suppose I might never.  
  
After what seems like hours to me, I hear him quietly turn and slip out of my room, shutting the door softly after himself. Only then do I allow myself to open my eyes and mouth and whisper to the darkness, "Why?"  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
The morning comes slowly when you do not sleep. I have no desire to sleep, for there are too many thoughts playing around in my head, thoughts that are very dangerous things indeed. They are thoughts of my hikari, and how beautiful he looked lying there on his bed. I do not love him, for love is an emotion I forgot long ago. But lust is something else. Lust is not love. Lust is easier. Lust is less painful. Lust is what I feel.  
  
The morning finally comes. I hear my hikari's alarm go off. It is Friday, the last day before the weekend. I know that my light dreads Fridays. For once he comes home Friday afternoon, he is mine for the weekend. Only this time, he will be mine in a very different way. But I must build up his trust first. It will not be hard. Like I have said before, just by looking into his gentle brown eyes, you can tell-he would trust the Devourer if the event ever arose.  
  
I may not be the Devourer, but I too am not one to be trusted. It is a shame he will realize that too late.  
  
~End Chapter 2~  
  
Sorry it's so short, but that just seemed like a good place to end the chapter. The next one should be longer. 


	3. Morning Revalations

My alarm goes off, and even though I am still asleep, my hand instinctively reaches out and shuts it off. My natural human instinct is to pull the covers over my head and let sleep overtake me again, but in my life, that is not a wise choice.  
  
It is only 5:00 in the morning. The world outside is still dark; the people of the world still slumbering. But they do not have the burdens that I carry. Although I would like to continue to sleep and dream and escape this life, I must get up and make breakfast for my yami. He will awake shortly. Things must be perfect for him, or I will pay. I avoided a beating last night. I do not wish to deal with one this morning.  
  
I pull my tired body out of my bed, though every muscle and bone tries to defy my mind and stay in the warm comfort of my blanket. I manage to sleepwalk into the bathroom and turn on the water in the shower. I shed my boxers and step into the now steamy shower. The water awakens me, and as I let the water flow down my body, I once again begin to ponder what happened last night; Why I was spared a beating, and why he then came into my room and stood over me, watching me as he thought I slumbered.  
  
In my heart, I feel an ache, an ache willing me to believe that the reason for his behavior is that he loves me. But my mind is not that stupid. It tells me, as it has numerous times, that he could never love me. He has made it clear that I am a burden to him, nothing more than a weakling he is forced to be connected with. But my heart is stubborn and wills me to believe otherwise. My heart is often stubborn, for how else could I love him? After all he has done to me, I still feel a love burning deep within me. I do not know where it comes from, but I do not wish it gone. It is all that keeps me going.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I hear my hikari's alarm go off, and I hear as he slowly drags himself out of bed and across the hall into the bathroom. I hear the water in the shower begin to run, and I know that my light is taking a shower. In the back of my mind, I hear a voice asking why I do not go in and join him. I allow the voice to become louder, because the question it poses is an interesting one. Why _do_ I not go in and join him? The answer appears in my mind immediately-My hikari is shy. I do not doubt that an action such as that would push him farther away from me. And at this point, that is the last thing I want. I want him to get close to me. Close enough so that he will trust me wholly and completely. Close enough so that I can manipulate him.  
  
A smile plays on my lips as I hear my light shut off the water in the shower. I hear him step out of the bathroom and into his room, where he will put on his school uniform. Quietly, so as not to let him hear me, I slip out of my room and head downstairs to the kitchen. I am not accustomed to the modern appliances of this world, but I suppose I can manage.  
  
I search through the cabinets in the kitchen, looking for the cardboard boxes full of what my hikari calls "cereal." I manage to find some and place them on the table. Next I find the bowls, then I open what I am told is called a refrigerator, a facinating object indeed, and find the carton of milk. I place these on the table just as my light enters the kitchen, fully dressed in his school uniform. I see his eyes go wide at the sight in front of him. In my mind, I smile a sinister and devilish smile.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I do not believe the sight in front of me. My eyes tell me that my yami has set breakfast up for us, but my brain refuses to believe it. There is no way that what I see is real. I feel my eyes open wide with shock, and I know that my mouth has dropped open.  
  
I struggle to regain my calm, and say, in as meak a voice as possible, "Y-yami?"  
  
He looks at me, a small smile playing on his lips. I know that there is more to this scene, and his smile, than I will find out. "Yes, Ryou?" he says, as if there is nothing odd about this at all. But there is. And now more than ever-he has never called me by my name before.  
  
~ End Chapter 3 ~  
  
Well, not much happened in this chapter, but it's getting there. By the next chapter, Bakura's motives will be revealed, and the story will get pretty interesting. R&R please! *huggles all the people who reviewed the first two chapters* Yay! I luv you all! MwAaZ  
  
~TaLoN~ 


	4. Counter Confessions

I walk closer to my light, as innocent a look on my face as I can manage. This is not a very innocent look. With every step, I sense him tensing up. "Yes, Ryou?" I repeat softly, all the while getting closer to him.  
  
"W-why did you do this?" he asks. I can hear the confusion and slight fear in his voice. I stop walking toward him and give him a look as if to say, Why not?  
  
Taking a deep breath, my light amazes me with his courage. "I-I mean, why did you not beat me last night, and why have you now made breakfast?" He gulps, and I sense that he is about to continue to amaze me. "Why are you being so nice?"  
  
At that, I look at him. I have been looking at the floor, but now he has my attention. His chocolate-brown eyes are filled with fear at what my answer might be. But there is another emotion there, one I hardly recognize. Is that _hope_ in my light's eyes? Hope of what? I intend to find out.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I am shaking. I do not understand what my yami is doing, nor why he is doing it, and part of me is afraid to know. Is this yet another one of his mind games? Is this yet another attempt of his to play with my mind simply for his own amusement? I do not doubt that it is.  
  
He has been walking toward me, and I am slightly afraid. Is he approaching me so that he may be close enough to hit me? Perhaps the few words I have said have been too much.  
  
"Why-why did you do this?" I ask, a slight shake in my voice that I wish was not there. He hears it, I know. He hears it and knows that I am scared. He knows he is winning this game.  
  
At my words, he ceases to advance toward me. For that, I am grateful. He is too far away still to reach me, which means that for now, I am spared the feel of his palm against my cheek.  
  
He looks at me, silently asking, Why should I not? There are many answers to this growing in my mind, but I am not stupid enough to voice them. Instead, I take a deep breath to calm my nerves and say,"I-I mean, why did you not beat me last night, and why have you now made breakfast?" Gulping down the lump in my throat, I continue, "Why are you being so nice?"  
  
At this, he looks up. Until now, he has been looking at the floor. But now he looks at me, looks straight into my eyes. As he stares at me, a strange look forms on his face, though I am unable to read it. I wonder what he sees in my eyes. Perhaps he sees my fear of what he will say. I pray he does not see the hope in my eyes-hope that he will tell me that he loves me. This hope is a waste. That is the last thing he would say.  
  
"Ryou," he says softly, breaking me out of my thoughts. "Why should I _not_ be nice to you?"  
  
At this, I stare at him. A deep anger boils up inside of me, and I cannot keep it from spilling out. "Why not?" I say, my tone one of defiance and hatred. "Why not?" I repeat. "You have never cared before. You have always told me what a weakling I am, how I am nothing compared to you. What game are you playing at?"  
  
As soon as these words leave my mouth, I regret them. I know what will happen now. I will be punished. And I sense it will be the worst ever.  
  
I close my eyes tightly, waiting for his hand to come into contact with my face, his leg with my shin.  
  
"Ryou," he says gently, in a tone that is highly unlike him. I do not dare to open my eyes though. "Ryou, open your eyes."  
  
I do not dare defy him. I open my eyes to an amazing sight. He is standing exactly where he was. He has not come near me, and there is no anger evident in his face. I do not know what to make of this.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
This is something new. My light is voicing his opinion, and I can sense anger and hatred in his voice. I think I like this new Ryou.  
  
"Ryou."  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
"Ryou." he says again, softly, in a voice I have never heard before. Slowly, he approaches me. I instinctively pull back, walking backwards as he walks forwards. But the kitchen is small, and I soon find myself against the counter. There is nowhere for me to go.  
  
He is now only about a foot away from me. My eyes are wide with fear, for his face shows no emotion. I do not know what he is planning, but my belief is it will be painful for me. I slowly close my eyes, praying to a god that I do not believe in. I can hear him coming closer. He must be right on top of me now.  
  
I flinch as his hand gently touches my chin, lifting it up. If my eyes were open, I suppose I would be looking up at him, while he looks down at me. But I am too afraid to open my eyes. I squeeze them tighter, fearing what is to come.  
  
Before I know what is happening, I feel soft lips on mine. I am being kissed. Instinctively, I kiss back, opening my mouth to the gentle tongue tracing my lips. Then it hits me-I am kissing Bakura, my yami, the other half of my soul.  
  
I break the kiss off, staring up at him. A question forms on my lips, and I allow myself to ask it. "Why?"  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
My light is backed up against the counter, his eyes closed tightly. My moment has come. I quickly close the distance between us, and lifting his chin up, claim his lips as my own. He tastes of everything I have dreamed of. He opens his mouth to me, and I feel him responding to my kiss. Mentally, I smirk. This was easier than I thought.  
  
I feel him pulling away. Reluctantly, I allow him to. I see the confusion in his eyes, but also, I see love. In my mind, it all clicks together. The hope I saw in his eyes moments before was hope that I was doing everything for love of him. This realization changes everything.  
  
"Why?" he asks, the same hope in his voice as was in his eyes earlier.  
  
"Why do you think, Ryou?" I whisper seductively, making sure he understands my meaning. By the rejoicing I sense inwardly from him through our link, he understands. He understands the meaning I wanted him to understand-he thinks I love him back. Poor delusional fool. His love for me will make things so much easier. Before the weekend ends, he will be mine in every sense of the word.  
  
~end chapter 4~  
  
*sigh* Whew.I'm tired now. That took me only a half hour to write, and my fingers are _really_ tired now..I was typing waaaay too fast..But there you go! Chapter 4. And be happy, this is the fastest I've ever updated a ficcy. This is what, 4 chapters within a week? My muse seems to be going into overdrive..Oh, and love to all my reviewers! You are all the BEST!!! Like, totally, 100% the greatest. ^_^ So, *MwAaZ* to you all!  
  
Next chapter should be up in a few days. This story will finish in a few chapter, maybe two or three, and then I'm planning to write a prequel. I'll tell more about that in the last chapter. Oh, and please review if you read this! *makes puppy dogg eyes* Hehehe..  
  
~TaLoN~ 


	5. Aftermath Musings

Sorry for the long wait, but I've been really busy with school, so I haven't been able to write a new chapter in a while. But today I got out early, and I have all of next week off, so expect a _lot_ of updates. ^_^  
  
Thank you SO much to all my reviewers. I love you all to _death!_ You are like, just so wonderful! *kisses*  
  
Just a reminder, this is NOT a fluffy fic, no matter _how_ much the last chapter seemed kinda fluffy. Just wanna remind people of that. Because within the next few chapters, this story is going to get a lot darker, and I just don't want people to be unprepared.  
  
Disclaimer: I _still_ don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, no matter how much I wish I did. If I did, you just _know_ that I would have Ryou and Bakura hook up, Yugi and Yami hook up, and Seto and Jou. *sigh* I wanna own Yu-Gi-Oh (or even just Seto! ^_~ *wink wink nudge nudge*)  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ = Change from Ryou's POV to Bakura's, or other way around.  
  
Chapter 5  
I walk through the halls of my school as one in a daze. The people, the walls, the words, none of it exists to me. I am in my own world, and that is where I intend to stay. I need time to figure out what has happened. I need time to figure out if I want it to happen again.  
  
I have never been kissed like that before in my life; kissed with that deep passion, deep hunger, deep need. The feeling seems vaguely familiar to me, but my mind will not allow me to remember from where. It is something in my mind that I continually grasp at, yet am never able to reach. Perhaps I am not meant to.  
  
He said that we would talk when I get home from school. Somehow, I doubt much talking will go on. I know he has other plans on his mind. I am not going to oppose them, though. Partly because I do not wish to, partly because I fear that this is just a sweet dream that will soon float away from me. I have wanted this for so long, I hardly dare to blink, afraid I will blink it all away.  
  
I would give myself to him wholly if he so wished. Body, mind, soul; I would give my entire world to him if it would ensure that this could last forever. Yet I fear it will not. Nothing lasts forever. Even love. And in my heart of hearts, I fear that this is not even love, on his part atleast. I know that I truly love him, I have for as long as I can remember. I think I loved him before I knew him. I think I loved him for as long as the world has existed. But what of his feelings?  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I almost feel bad for him, the poor fool. He thinks I love him. He is willing to give his whole world to me, I can see it in his eyes when he looks at me. He has left for school now, and I am left in this house alone for now, left alone to contemplate my next move. Should I just do it? Should I take him when he gets home? Or should I wait, prolong this charade for as long as it suits my purposes? Both are good ideas, but only one can be best. But which one?  
  
Something is nagging me in the back of my head. Something is silently screaming out in agony as I make my plans. Something in me is hurting, and I do not know what. No matter how hard I try to reach the voice, it continues to hide from me, just a shadow in the dark corners of my soul. I am learning to block it out, but still, I feel that nagging in me, and it antagonizes me.  
  
No matter. It can be ignored. For now, my thoughts are only of Ryou, _my_ Ryou, my innocent little Ryou.  
  
He will not be so innocent after this weekend.  
  
~End Chapter 5~  
  
Sorry it's so short, but I just thought that was a good way to end the chapter. From now on, some chapter will be short like this, but there will be more updates (think one or two a day), so no matter. I just have a thing about ending chapters with certain sentences. They have to be just right. Don't ask. But anyway, R&R please! Next chapter should be up by tomorrow.  
  
~TaLoN~ 


	6. Fluttering Fears

Wow, two updates in a day. Go me! ^_^ Again, thanx sooooo much to all my lovely reviewers! You all are the bestest people on earth! Seriously. Cause without you, I wouldn't still be writing this fic. So thank you all! *huggles all the lovely reviewers* MwAaZ!  
  
Like I said, I'd be updating a lot more this week, so here's the next chapter! Enjoy!  
  
Chapter 6  
  
I am walking home from school, and while a part of me is thrilled at the prospect of going home, another part of me is afraid to. Part of me still does not believe what has happened. Part of me is afraid that this is all some sick mind game that he has thought up to further torment me, and I have fallen for it. For this reason, I am almost unwilling to go home.  
  
I tell my feet to stop walking, to turn and go to the park instead, yet it is as if they have a life of their own. I can no longer control my feet. They insist on taking the route home, even as my brain cries out at them to stop. It appears that I have no choice-I must go home and face Bakura.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
My light should be home soon. I am counting the minutes anxiously. I have made up my mind. I will have him now. I can wait no longer. The thought of his lips on my lips, his skin on my skin, his body under my body is driving me crazy. The mere image of him sends me into a fury of feelings, many that I do not know where they come from. The only one I can truly understand is lust. Yet somewhere in there I feel sadness as well. Sadness, and a deep feeling of loss. I do not know where these come from, nor why, so I push them aside. They are mere annoyances and of no importance right now. I can figure them out later.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I stop as I reach my front door. My feet have allowed me to stop long enough to fish my key out of my coat pocket, yet I know that the minute I find it, my hands will take a life of their own as well, forcing me to unlock the door. The feeling in the pit of my stomach has been growing stronger the closer I got to my house.  
  
The fluttering butterflies that once resided in my stomach have now evolved into malicious man-eating monsters, tearing me apart. My hand shakes as it searches my pocket for my key; my heart pounds as it finds it and reaches up to unlock the door. I take a deep breath, knowing that my fate lies behind the door.  
  
There is no escaping fate.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
[A/N: I really wanted to end the chapter there, cause that was just _such_ a good sentence, but even _I_ admit that this was not nearly a long enough chapter yet. Soooo..I kept writing..You all owe me for this! ^_~]  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I am lying on the couch, fiddling with the buttons on my shirt. I have conveniently left it unbuttoned, showing off my lean body. I smile to myself, imagining Ryou's reaction when he sees me.  
  
I do not need to imagine any longer. I hear Ryou's key in the lock outside. He will be coming in any minute now. I prepare to stand up and let my plan finally come together.  
  
He will be mine.  
  
I hear the door open, and I feel the cool autumn air sneak in after Ryou. From where he is standing, he cannot see me lying on the couch. That is fine with me. I do, after all, wish to surprise him.  
  
"Bakura?" I hear him say, hesitantly, a slight shake in his voice. I smirk. I enjoy hearing him be afraid.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
"Bakura?" I say as I enter the house, wishing that there was not such a shake to my voice. I do not want him to know that I am afraid.  
  
There is no answer. Again, I say, softly, "Bakura?"  
  
Out of the corner of my eye, I see something moving in the living room. It is him. He must have been lying on the couch, for now he stands next to it, clad in a pair of blue pants and an unbuttoned shirt. I cannot stop my eyes from wandering across his body slowly, taking in the beautiful sight in front of me.  
  
"I'm glad you're home, Ryou," he says in a soft, seductive voice. This time, it is by my own wishes that my feet walk forward, toward the living room where my yami stands in all his glory.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
He stands there so innocently, letting his eyes roam over my body. In my mind, I smile an evil and devilish smile. He was no challenge up until this point, and I do not doubt that things will be just as easy now. He is too in love with me for his own good, but he will learn that too late.  
  
"I'm glad you're home, Ryou," I say in a slow, soft, seductive voice. He walks toward me, and I walk toward him as well, until we are mere inches from each other. I look down at him, and he looks up at me. There are so many emotions flashing through his eyes, but the one I am most pleased to see is trust. I have wanted to see that in his eyes since last night, but I did not think that it would appear so quickly. Perhaps it was there all along.  
  
I waste no time. I wrap my arms around his waist and pull him against me, closing all space that once existed between us. I claim his lips, urging his lips open with my tongue. He offers no resistance, but lets me explore his mouth to my hearts content.  
  
I always did enjoy it when people submitted to me easily. It makes everything so much more enjoyable.  
  
~End Chapter 6~  
  
Told you this chapter would be longer than the last one. Well, it looks like this story will turn out to be a bit longer than I thought it would. It might take me about 5 more chapters to wrap it up, then prepare yourselves for the prequel! Woot! This is the farthest I've ever gotten in a fic, so be happy people! Usually I end up abandoning fics after the 3rd or 4th chapter. But I really like this one, so I'm gonna finish it. I feel special. Well, I'll have the next chapter up either tomorrow or the next day. Till then, *kisses*  
  
~TaLoN~ 


	7. Afterschool Activities

Well, I said I'd update in like, a day, and I did! Yay me! I don't wanna bore you, so without any of the usual ramblings from me, I give you Chapter 7! ^_^ R&R please!  
  
Chapter 7  
  
We are standing mere inches apart. I look up at him, and he looks down at me. Although this is merely because of high, I suppose it is significant. I will always look up to him as my master. It is how I have learned to be, and it is how I will always remain. He looks down at me as he always has. I know that no matter what happens between us, he will never look at me as his equal. It is not his nature to allow someone to be equal to him.  
  
I hardly have time to react before he reaches out, wraps his hands around my slim waist, and pulls me in for a deep kiss. I open my mouth to his tongue, allowing him to explore my mouth. I have never felt this way before.  
  
When he kisses me, I feel as if I could burst inside. My very soul burns with a deep passion and love so strong that it almost scares me at times. I have felt this feeling before, but I cannot remember from where.  
  
Does Bakura feel the same feeling burning within his soul?  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
He tastes so sweet. Just the taste of his lips is driving me wild. I am trying to control myself, take things slow, but it is becoming increasingly harder. I pull my light closer to me, closing any space that remained between us. He is pressed against me, standing on his toes, lip- locked with me. His hands are wrapped around my neck to steady himself, my arms wrapped around his waist to hold him to me.  
  
Deep in my mind, I sense that I must hold onto him tightly so that he will never leave me. Never desert me. Never disappear.  
  
I break the kiss. These thoughts trouble me. Why am I thinking them? What is this deep feeling in me that I need him?  
  
My light looks up at me, a look of confusion on his face.  
  
"Is-is something wrong, Bakura?" he asks. Even though he doesn't say it, I can sense the other half of that question-Did _he_ do something wrong?  
  
I smile an unconvincing smile at Ryou.  
  
//Yes, something is wrong, but it's not you. Don't worry about it.// I say through our mental link. I have never used it before, because I have never felt the need to, nor have I cared much for the idea of being able to speak to my light mentally. But this moment was to perfect to ruin it with words.  
  
He looks at me, a mixture of caring and confusion on his face. Caring for me, I imagine. He must be worried about me. He is too sweet. Confusion, I suppose, for the fact that I spoke through the never-used link. I smile at him again, a gentle smile. And this time, it is a genuine smile. I have not smiled a genuine smile in over 5000 years, yet now I do. Somehow, this little boy, my other half, has managed to awaken something in me.  
  
But that is no reason for me to abandon my plans.  
  
I take his hand and gentle lead him up the steps to his bedroom. I close the door, take off my shirt, and press him against the now closed door. I close the distance between us and kiss him, no longer slowly and passionately, but with great need and hunger. I manage to push aside all voices in my head and feelings that I do not understand, and focus only on the vision of loveliness in my arms. The time has come.  
  
I pull my light away from the door and throw him, almost violently, onto the bed. I peel his clothing off with ease, then mine, and finally, my plan comes together.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I cannot believe what has happened. My yami, Bakura, is leading me up the steps. I do not doubt where we are going. I suppose I am a little scared, but I would do anything for him. Anything.  
  
I do worry about him. The look in his eyes before revealed something in his mind that troubled him. I wonder what it was.  
  
Perhaps he too hears strange voices talking to him. Perhaps he too has feelings coursing through his body that he does not understand. Feelings of loss, and love, and pain like I do. They are new feelings, yet they are not new. I know that they have been within me forever, yet only now do I feel their true power. Yet I do not understand them. And for the moment, I don't care.  
  
He leads me into my bedroom, and presses me against the door. He breaks the kiss shortly and throws me onto my bed. I can only anticipate what is to come as he peels our clothes off.  
  
I have never felt such happiness in this lifetime.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
[A/N: What? You actually thought I was going to continue with that scene? Sorry sweeties. This fic's rated PG-13, not R (or NC-17 if ff.net sill had that.). So no naughty scene. But feel free to use your perverted imaginations. Uh-huh, don't deny it. You know you want to. Hehehe.]  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
My light is lying next to me, one arm wrapped around my waist. He is fast asleep, and I am not surprised. We had an eventful afternoon, if you take my meaning. [A/N: Hehehe]  
  
My stomach rumbles, and I realize that although it is almost 9:00 at night, I have not eaten anything since breakfast this morning. This morning. Was it really only a little over twelve hours ago that I kissed my light for the first time? Was it really only this morning that my plan began to come together?  
  
My plan. It almost went perfectly. Almost. Yet as I lie here next to my light, I realize that it did not go perfectly as I would have liked it to. For, as I watch my koi slumbering peacefully, a half-smile playing on his soft lips, it occurs to me that the worst possible thing went wrong with my plan. The one thing that I did not wish to happen happened.  
  
I have developed feelings for my light other than lust. Feelings that I have not felt in over 5000 years. Feelings such as love.  
  
~End Chapter 7~  
  
Woot. Chapter 7 is done! Again, thank you soooooo much to all my reviews! *lots and lots of kisses* I cant believe I haven't gotten any flames for this story! Considering that I wasn't even sure if this was a good fic at first, I'm flattered. So thank you all. *huggles all the reviewers till they cant breath* Hehehe.  
  
Next chapter should be up by tomorrow!  
  
~TaLoN~ 


	8. Burning Memories

I'm alive! Bet you all thought I died, didn't you? Well, I didn't. I just had major brain freeze. See, I have the entire plot for this story all written up in my head. So when I go to write a new chapter, I know the basics of what will happen. But when I was writing chapter 7, I had this "great" idea to make Bakura fall in love with Ryou. This was _not_ a part of the original plot. So I had to figure out a way to change the story around a bit, just not enough to change the ending, cause I still like how I wanna end this story. So I was completely stuck. But then today I had a major idea. Granted now the story is gonna be a few chapters longer than I wanted it to be, but oh well. If people review, I will write.  
  
And that reminds me, Ahhhh!!!! I love all my reviewers! Thank you all soooo much for liking the story this far, and I hope you all keep liking it. For the next few chapters it'll be a bit lighter and fluffier, and then back to it's dark old self. Fun, right? So, without further ramblings from me, I give you chapter 8! ^_^  
  
Chapter 8  
  
I have developed feelings for my light other than lust. Feelings that I have not felt in over 5000 years. Feelings such as love.  
  
I do not know what to do. A part of me tells myself to ignore these feelings. Feelings such as love can only lead to pain. Yet I also want to give in to this love that now burns deep within my heart. Would it really be so bad to love someone and be loved in return? Would it really be so bad to let down the barriers I have built around me and let someone in? Perhaps I would find the life I have dreamed of.  
  
I do not remember much from my past life, but I do remember a deep sense of loneliness burning within me. And I remember it being cured by someone. Who this person is, I cannot remember. But they loved me, and I loved them in return. And I was happy.  
  
I also remember this person being taken from me by the gods. Torn from me, never to come back. Loneliness overtook me again.  
  
This is why I am afraid to open up to this boy, my other half. If I love him, if I let him know about my love, will he too be torn from me, never to return? Would my life once again descend into darkness?  
  
I want to love him. I want to hold him in my arms forever. I want to spend my life with him. I always have, I suppose. He is my other half. How can I _not_ love him? Yet I was stubborn as I always am. I refused to let myself see what others plainly did.  
  
That boy Yugi, he plainly saw it. Or rather, his other half did. Yami. We are not close, although considering that he is the only person in this world remotely connected to my past, I suppose we should attempt to be. But somehow, I am worried about what happened in the past. I almost do not wish to know what horrors my past holds. I have no doubt in my mind that I was not nice. Then again, I don't really think that anyone who knows me _now_ would describe me as nice, either. But I believe that my past was darker than anyone could imagine. Even myself.  
  
But he saw it. Yami saw it. He told me once, but I was too stubborn to listen. His words ring through my head now as I lie next to my precious Ryou, softly stroking his pale, soft hair. He said, "There is a fine line between love and hate, and an even finer line between denial and acceptance. You may not know it yet, but you love that boy. You love him with all your heart, and the only way you will realize that is to deny it. You hurt him because you love him, and in the end, it will bring you two together. Just don't realize it too late."  
  
I do not know how much of his words were truth, but some do ring true. I never questioned why I abused Ryou. I told myself that it was because he was weak and I wanted to make him stronger, but even I knew that that was a lie. But I lied to myself. I denied what I knew was in my heart, and tried to prove my lie by taking it out on my light.  
  
I was an idiot.  
  
As I lie here next to my koi, something within me cries out. My mind recoils in horror, and my heart skips a beat. A thought from last night has resurfaced, and I am appalled at myself. Last night, as I made my way into my hikari's room, I thought to myself, 'He is too gentle for his own good, my hikari. One look into his gentle brown eyes and anyone can see that he can be easily manipulated. He can be used. I do not want that for him. He does not deserve that.'  
  
Yet then, 'I want him to get close to me. Close enough so that he will trust me wholly and completely. Close enough so that I can manipulate him.'  
  
How did I allow myself to become so corrupted? How did I allow my thoughts to contradict themselves so much? How did I allow myself to deny my love for Ryou?  
  
I cannot hold them in anymore. The tears, I mean. 5,000 years worth of tears stream down my cheeks and onto the pillow, disappearing into it. Sobs shake my body, and I know that I am going to wake Ryou up. This thought almost comforts me. I want him to hold me, kiss me, tell me that everything is all right. I want him to love me.  
  
Through my tears, I see Ryou stir in his slumber. He rolls over so that he is facing me, his eyes barely open. Yet he obviously sees me crying, for the slumber disappears from his eyes immediately. He sits up, worry filling his chocolcate-brown eyes. Worry for me. How can he worry about me after everything I've done to him? More tears spill from my eyes.  
  
I slowly sit up and face Ryou. Tears still drip from my eyes and rolls down my cheeks, but this time, they are wiped away by his gentle hand. I look into his eyes, clear and pure. All I see in them is undying love. Undying love for me.  
  
I collapse into his arms, and without a moment's hesitation, he pulls me tightly against himself. I sense his confusion about why I am crying, but I cannot very well tell him, now can I? I cannot tell him that I am crying because I realized that I was an idiot for manipulating him, simply to get him into bed with me. I do not think that even Ryou, as loving and forgiving as he is, could forgive me that.  
  
Fortunately, my light is not one to pry. I know that he will only ask me what is wrong if I let him know it is ok. For now, I simply enjoy the feel of his arms around me. Within his arms, I feel safe. That is all that matters now.  
  
I do not care anymore what memories my past show me. I am not afraid to love. I want to be loved. And I want to be loved by Ryou. I will never let him go.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I awake to the sound of someone crying. I am surprised, for I know that the person in bed next to me if Bakura, and I do not think that he is even capable of crying. But as I roll over, still half-asleep, I see the tears in his eyes, on his cheeks, on the pillow. My yami is crying.  
  
I sit up slowly, sleep forgotten in my mind. Worry fills every part of me. My yami, crying? I did not think such an act was possible. He has always seemed so strong to me, so unbreakable. What could have happened to make him cry like this?  
  
He sits up, facing me. As he looks at me, a fresh batch of tears form in his eyes, and slowly, they fall. Am I the reason he is crying? Could my yami be crying for me?  
  
I push these thoughts aside. They can be answered later, when he is ready to talk. For now, he needs me. I reach out a hand and wipe the tears away, gently, compassionately, lovingly. I love him so much right now, all I want to do is hold him.  
  
As if he read my thoughts, he falls into my arms. I do not hesitate to pull him tightly to myself. I do wish to know why he is crying, but I will not pry. He will tell me when he is ready. _If_ he is ready.  
  
I do not care. I do not care whether he tells me or not. It would be nice, for I want him to share everything with me, I want to be a complete part of his life, but I will not push it. I do not want to push him away in any possible way. I love him too much.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
It is almost midnight. My hikari has been holding me in his arms for almost two hours now, and I never want him to let me go. But I am not crazy. Not completely. I know that we must separate sometime. Slowly, I pull away from his embrace. My light cocks his head to one side, to say, without words, What is it? He looks so cute when he is confused.  
  
I smile a gentle, loving smile, then shake my head. Nothing, I say through my actions. Nothing at all. I kiss him once gently on the lips, then pull him back into bed. "Sleep," I whisper. I can see in my light's eyes that he is tired.  
  
"Ok," he answers back in his soft voice, snuggling back under the covers. I too crawl under the covers, but I do not sleep. I stare at the little clock on the dresser next to me. Even in the dark, I can see the little hands moving minute by minute. It is a minute to midnight now. Midnight. Midnight signifies a new day. And for me, a new beginning. A new beginning with Ryou.  
  
~End Chapter 8~  
  
Whew! Done! I know it took forever to get this chapter up, but it was the longest yet, so that makes up for it, right? ^_~  
  
Well, R&R please! No clue when the next chapter will be up, but it will be up within a week. No longer than that, I promise. *kisses* 


	9. Important Author's Note

Well, first, let me apologize. This is not a new chapter. This is not a note saying that a new chapter will be up in a day. This is a note saying that I have to put this story on hold for a while. *dry tear* I don't want to, but I really have no time for it right now. School is insane, I have to say almost every day after school to work on scenery for the school play (I'm on stage crew, the play is in like, three weeks, and we're not even close to being finished), and the teachers are giving us so much friggin homework lately. And also, I have a bit of writer's block for this story. I have no clue what direction I want to go in, and I really need some time to think about it.  
  
I am NOT abandoning this fic. I am just putting it on hold for a while. When I DO get my muse back, I'll try to write like, three chapters, and then put them up every few days. But for now, no updates for a while. I'll try to update by April, though. (Yes, I do realize that this is the beginning of March, but I'm going to be extra busy all this month. Sorry!).  
  
Again, I apologize to everyone, especially the people who've been reading this since I put the first chapter up. I love you all, and I'm really sorry to do this. Bear with me, and I promise that I WILL NOT abandon this fic.  
  
*kisses and hugs*  
  
~TaLLy aka Talon~ 


	10. Bleeding Souls

I baaaaaaaack! And it's about time, no? It's been over a month since I updated. Cripes. I hope no one forgot about me.....  
  
This chapter is pretty short, but considering I haven't updated in over a month, it's something, right? But my muse is back, and I know exactly where I'm going with this story now. And even though I don't have the next chapter written yet, I'm going to work on it tomorrow and update as soon as possible. Because I've missed this story.  
  
Thanks to everyone who has read this story this far, and a special thanks to all the people who said they understood that I needed to put this on hold for a while. Thank you all for not being upset. *kisses to all the lovely reviewers*  
  
Sooooo......I give you Chapter Nine! Woot!  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I run through the streets, blood on my clothes, blood on my hands. So red, so wet, so sacred. My mind will not tell me whose blood it is. But my heart tells me it is the blood of one near to me, near to my heart. My heart cries out in agony as my eyes stare at the crimson liquid on my palms; my feet continue to pound against the pavement as I run. I am always running. Always.  
  
The uncaring, judgmental eyes of the people on the streets stare at me, and what a sight I am! My eyes are wild, my heart is breaking. My hands are flailing, my brain is throbbing. My body is no longer mine. All I know is that I must run, before my guilt catches up with me.  
  
But guilt for what? Why can't I remember? Why wont my brain tell me what I want-what I need-to know? Why is my heart screaming out in agony?  
  
I trip. My blood-covered hands hit the pavement, leaving crimson handprints in the street. I scramble to get up. Must keep running, always.  
  
I run, out of the city, into the desert. I fall down in the sand, willing it to cover my body. Cover me, bury me, anything to stop the pain; I still do not know what I have done. Pyramids stand out against the horizon; the sun has begun to set. The sky is on fire; orange and red and yellow melt together to form a sight as beautiful as him.  
  
Him. The one whose blood is on my hands. But who is he? Why does my heart break so much at knowing that something has happened to him? Who is he? Who am I?  
  
My brain is ripping apart. I know nothing, yet I know everything. He has killed himself, killed himself for what I have done. I do not know who he is, who I am, but I know that I loved him.  
  
I know that he loved me.  
  
I stare at my hands, covered with the blood of my beloved. My beloved with no face, no name, no memory in my mind. My beloved that is dead because of me.  
  
My palms burn. My skin sizzles as the blood sinks in. I scream out in agony as the sky above turns as red as blood.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
The bed beneath me shakes. I hear him panting, grasping in air as if he has not breathed in years. I turn over and sit up to face him.  
  
His eyes are wide, and I believe that deep within them I see tears. His breathing is ragged; his hands are gripping the sheets as if without them he will fall into oblivion.  
  
I reach out a hand and touch his arm. He flinches.  
  
"Bakura?"  
  
He turns, slowly. His eyes show uncertainty and fears. I have never seen him like this. Not even on that night months ago when he fell into my arms and cried, and I held him until all his tears had turned to nothing.  
  
But this is different. This look in his eyes is like nothing I have ever seen before in anyone's eyes.  
  
It is the look of one who has caused the death of another.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
He touches my arms. I flinch. I do not mean to, but I am so sensitive now to human touch. His hand is hot. My skin is like ice. I cannot shake the feelings that I felt in my dream.  
  
"Bakura?" he asks. I hear the caring in his voice. But deep within it I hear the fear. I know that I am scaring him. I do not mean to, but I am scared as well.  
  
It was not just a dream. It was my past. I know it. I feel it.  
  
Somewhere in my past, I lost the one I most loved. Somewhere in my past, I did something terrible to someone, and I swore never to love again.  
  
I have broken my promise. I have fallen in love with Ryou.  
  
I am so lost. I don't know what to do. This dream has awoken something in me. Something that was buried deep within me, and now has found its way out. Something that does not want to love again. Something that does not want to risk hurting anyone again. Something that does not want to hurt Ryou again.  
  
~End Chapter Nine~  
  
Whew. So there ya go. The newest chapter. Odd, no? This story is really coming to a close now. Only about 3 more chapters tops left I think. Unless I figure out a way to make it longer. But I'm planning a prequel, so woot. Fun fun fun.  
  
I'll be updating within the next week. So until then, MwAaZ!  
  
~TaLoN~ 


	11. Suicide and Other Comforts

Well, this is it. The final chapter. And it's fairly dark and depressing. But I was listening to Cradle Of Filth's "Suicide and Other Comforts" when I was writing this, so what did you expect? This is broken into two parts. For no obvious reason, I would like to add. Just because. I was going to make it two separate chapters, but I really just wanted to keep them together, so instead there's Part I and Part II.  
  
Sooooo......Here ya go:  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
~Part I~  
  
I look at him. He will not look at me. He is staring into his bowl of cereal. He seems to find it fascinating.  
  
I stare into my own bowl. All I see is soggy cereal, cereal that has been sitting there for much longer than it should.  
  
I get up and throw it out. I have no appetite. Something is wrong with him. I can sense it. And I am hurting. Because he will not tell me what is going on. But something is. Something that matters. Because he has never acted this way before. Never.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *  
  
I stare into my cereal. I do not find it appetizing.  
  
I look at my hands, at my palms. They were stained with blood in my dream. So red, so wet, so warm.  
  
I can still see it. My palms still are red. They still are wet. They still are covered in sweet, crimson blood.  
  
I am no longer with Ryou. I am kneeling in the desert.  
  
My palms burn. My skin sizzles as the blood sinks in. I scream out in agony as the sky above turns as red as blood.  
  
The sand beneath me shifts. The wind blows hard, blowing sand around me. Some part of my mind tells me to run. Some part of my mind tells me to stay.  
  
I could die here, I think. I could die here in the sand, become buried under it. No one would even ever know.  
  
Sand blows into my hair. It hits my face, stinging it. It hits my bare chest, flowing around my body. It covers my legs, echoing my thoughts of burial.  
  
I could die here. I could pay for killing my love. I could pay......  
  
I _should_ pay. I need to be punished for whatever I have done. I need to punish myself.  
  
No one else even knows that his death was my fault.  
  
His?.....My love.....was a male?  
  
More memories come. Looking into his eyes for the first time, kissing him for the first time, making love to him for the first time......  
  
His eyes. So haunting. So familiar.....I recognize them, yet I don't. He has no face to me. Only those haunting eyes.......  
  
The sand swirls around me. All I see are his eyes. Following me. Accusing me. His eyes......  
  
I scream.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
My head jerks toward the table. I drop the bowl. My yami sits at the table, clutching his head in his hands, screaming. Blood covers his hands.  
  
Blood?  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I am sitting at the table. I am screaming. I am in Egypt, 5000 years ago. I am screaming. His eyes are everywhere. They will not leave me alone. I am screaming. I am sitting at the table in the kitchen. I am screaming. Ryou is looking at me. I am screaming. I am lying in the sand. His eyes are watching me. I am screaming. I am screaming.......  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I do not know what to do. Blood? _Blood?_ I do not know what is going on. My yami is not even here. His eyes are far away, and he is still screaming.  
  
Where is he?  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
He is looking at me. Ryou is looking at me. His eyes are looking at me. His eyes......  
  
His eyes......Oh Ra......No......  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
~Part II~  
  
I shoot back to reality. I shoot back to the present. I shoot back to the kitchen table.  
  
I am still screaming.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
His eyes return. His eyes are back here in the present. He is back with me. But he is still screaming. What did he see that could affect him so much? Where did he go?  
  
What haunts him?  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
My scream dies in my throat. I breathe hard, my heart pounding. Blood still covers my hands.  
  
How?  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I keep my distance. I love him, but I am afraid of him. Blood.....So much blood on his hands. Where did it come from?  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I swallow hard. The truth that I have learned is like an arrow to my heart. My heart has broken. And now I must brake his. Or else I shall be the cause of his death.......  
  
Again.......  
  
"Ryou?" I saw softly, my heart screaming out to the gods for there to be some other way.  
  
There is no other way.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
"Ryou?" he says softly, a tone in his voice that I do not recognize.  
  
"Y-yes?" I whisper, a great fear nagging in my mind. And something else.  
  
Something about the blood on his hands calls to me.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
"Y-yes?" he whispers, stuttering a bit. My heart breaks even more, if that is even possible.  
  
"Ryou..." I say again, my mind willing me to speak, yet my heart telling me to remain mute, and god damn the past.  
  
I get up. Fear flashes through his eyes as I step near him. Fear like from the days when I would beat him.  
  
I take him in my arms. I press my face in his hair, cementing his scent in my mind. I kiss him, cementing the taste of his mouth, the feel of his lips on mine. I look at him, cementing his face in my heart.  
  
He looks at me, no fear left in his eyes. Only love. Only love, and the knowledge that I am going to tell him something that will affect his life.  
  
I close my eyes. I cannot find the words. I know that I must push him away. I cannot risk him trying to keep me here. His life depends on it.  
  
I must push him away......forever.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
He takes me in his arms. He kisses me. He has never kissed me in this way before. This is a kiss of great need, as if he will never kiss me again. As if this is goodbye......  
  
He looks at me. Something is in his eyes. Something like sadness, and deep regret.  
  
This _is_ goodbye!  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
His eyes reflect it. He knows. He knows that this is the end of us. Oh, Ra......Give me strength......  
  
"Ryou..." I saw one final time. My voice is weak. I harden it. I become the man I once was, a cold man who cared nothing for anyone. Especially my koi-I mean light. Not my koi. Never again.  
  
"I never loved you, Ryou. I used you. You were a game for me to play, and an easy one at that. You mean nothing to me........" My voice almost cracks at the end, but I catch myself.  
  
May Ra forgive me for what I have done.....Both in the past and now.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
His voice is cold. His voice is emotionless. His voice is how it used to be.  
  
"I never loved you, Ryou. I used you. You were a game for me to play, and an easy one at that. You mean nothing to me......."  
  
His words are a mental slap to me. Even the physical abuse he put me through in the past was nothing compared to this.  
  
My heart has just been ripped apart.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
He looks as though I have hit him. perhaps I should have. It would have been less painful for him, I am sure.......  
  
I turn away from him, my light, my hikari, my love. I turn away and walk out the door.  
  
It is done...  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
He walks out.  
  
His words haunt me. His words resound in my head.  
  
I was nothing to him.  
  
I am nothing to him.  
  
I am nothing......  
  
I open a drawer. I take out a steak knife. I slowly draw it across my left wrist. A thin trail of blood flows out.  
  
Bright, red, thick blood.........  
  
It looks just like the blood on his hands......  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I have walked only outside the door. I cannot do this......  
  
I cannot leave him..........  
  
I stand outside the door, my mind and heart battling each other.  
  
My mind knows that I will only be the cause of Ryou's death. I was in the past, and I will be now. But my heart is breaking.  
  
My heart will not let me leave him.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I run the blade over my right wrist. Another trail of blood appears. So pretty.......  
  
I feel myself falling to the floor. I see my blood spread out all over the white tiles. I feel myself fading away........  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I turn around to go back in the house. I need to tell Ryou the truth. I need to have him with me.  
  
My hand reaches for the door handle. The blood on my palms catches my eye.  
  
I am falling back to the past. I am no longer outside his house. I am in the sand, screaming.  
  
Images of a young Egyptian boy flash through my mind. His fair white hair, his pure brown eyes, his bloody body.......  
  
His bloody body with slit wrists........The knife in his hands......  
  
NO!  
  
He killed himself for me in the past. He killed himself for me........  
  
Oh, Ra, don't let me be too late........  
  
I am in the present again. I shove the door open. I run into the kitchen. I fall to the floor beside his body.  
  
I've killed him again..........  
  
~END~  
  
So there you go. The end of "Open Your Eyes." *sigh* I have to admit, I'm very proud of this fic. I think I did good on it.....And this chapter is by far my favourite.  
  
Ok, a few things I need to say. First off, thank you soooo friggin much to all the people who have reviewed this, or even just read it and not bothered to review. I appreciate you all taking the time to read this, and all the wonderful reviews were great.  
  
I _am_ making a prequel to this, and it will be set in Ancient Egypt. It will be a _lot_ less dark and depressing, and more romantic and fluffy. Because I know how everyone loves that, and after this ending, I figure everyone deserves some nice Ryou/Bakura fluff. So I'll start working on that soon and hopefully have it up sometime in May.  
  
I'm putting the lyrics to Cradle Of Filth's "Suicide and Other Comforts" as a separate chapter after this one, because it just is such a great song, and if you listen to it while reading this chapter, it just works. I recommend it if you're looking for a good song to download.  
  
Sooooo.......I guess, until the prequel, this is goodbye. Thanks again to everyone who's read this and put up with the random plot twists and insane dark thoughts that came from my mind.  
  
*kisses*  
  
~TaLoN~ 


	12. Cradle of Filth Suicide and Other Comfor...

Suicide and Other Comforts

I pace, alone

In a place for the dead

Overcome by woe

And here, I've grown

So fond of dread

That I swear it's heaven 

Oh sweet Mary, 

Dressed in grief

Roll back the stone 

With these words scrawled in a severed hand

Tears fall like shards of glass that band

In rivers, like sinners

Swept with me to join the damned 

A darkened sky

The day that laughter died

Fell swiftly into night

And stayed within Her sight

Staring at the knife

Oh God, how easy now to sacrifice

My life, to have Her with me 

So farewell to distant thunder

Those inept stars I've worshipped under

Fall farther, their Father

Lies in wait in flames below

Whilst my love, a blood red flower

Calls to me from verdant bowers

Graveside, I cry

Please save me from this Hell I know 

A darkened sky

The day that laughter died

Fell swiftly into night

And stayed within Her sight

Staring at the knife

Oh God, how easy now to sacrifice

My life, to have Her with me 

An eye for an eye as espied in the bible

My faith is lost to the burning of idols

One less cross to press upon the survival

Of this lorded agony 

And I, (much as I have tried

To bury Her from mind, 

Fate's tourniquet was tied, when She died...) 

Still sense Her presence so divine

Lithe arms about my throat

like pining swans entwined

Footfalls at nightfall close to mine 

Suicide is a tried and tested formula for release 

I snatch Her whisper like the wind through cedars

See Her face in every natural feature

Midst the mist and sleepy hollows of fever... 

With glee deceiving me 

Suicide is a tried and tested formula for release 

I hear Her voice from where the grave defies Her

Sirensong to sing along, no finer

Suicide notes, harmonised in a minor

Strike a chord with misery 

No light nor reefbr

No unsinkable of romance keeps me

Safely from the stormy seas

Now drowning, resounding

Death-knells pound my dreams

Unthinkable to dredge through this

Listless and lonely winter frieze 

A darkened sky

This day hereafter dies

Falls swiftly into night

And stays within my sight

Staring at the knife

Oh God, what ease it was to sacrifice

My life, to have Her with me 

No more a victim of crusade

Where souls are strung from moral palisades

I slit my wrist and quickly slip away... 

I journey now on jewelled sands

Beneath a moon to Summerlands

To grace Her lips with contraband

The blaze once in my veins


End file.
